Maxims

1. Jacob Oram sleeps with the light on - not because he's scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of him.

2. Jacob Oram counted to infinity twice.

3. When Jacob Oram goes to the gym, the machines he exercises on get fitter.

4. The only time Jacob Oram has ever made a mistake was the time he thought he was wrong about something.

5. Superman goes to bed in Jacob Oram pyjamas.

(Shamelessly lifted off an ode to a certain Aussie player on Sport radio, but what the hell: if you've seen the last three Black Caps games you'll know what I'm talking about...)